Hiding behind a smile

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November 2014 • Behind this smile was an exhausted, overworked first year teacher who was not taking care of herself •
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There were numerous times I’d come home crying into Cody’s arms ((or crying on the way home during my hour long commute)), overwhelmed with the amount of work I felt I wanted to do but couldn’t get to. I was not prepared for the amount of work teaching would be for me in the real world ((I expect myself to work hard and pictured myself to be that “Pinterest teacher”)). Sound familiar?
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After months of this, I finally decided enough was enough. I wasn’t changing anything so I knew I was just going to continue getting the same result. I remember Cody telling me something like “you’ve got to start setting boundaries around work for yourself.” I wasn’t going to let a year go by being in the same spot…or worse. The gym wasn’t doing it for me ((I didn’t have the brain power to think about what workout of moves to do nor did I have the extra energy or time it took to get back in my car some more during the weekdays)), so I asked Cody to do a round of P90X with me from home, one of the top home workout programs.
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This was HARD. But a much better “hard” than the other hard I was going through. I was sore. Way more tired than I was before I started BUT it was the greatest kind of tired. I remember the first night I kept telling everyone I slept SO well I slept like a rock. It was the most amazing feeling to be able to fall asleep right away and stay asleep until my alarm went off the next morning for work. I was usually always tossing and turning, constantly stressing about what I had to do that week, like making another copy of a field trip form or stopping at Baskin Robbins in the morning because I had teacher lounge duty.
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Are you hiding behind a smile sometimes, too, like I used to? Just know it CAN and WILL get better, but you have to make a change somewhere or you’re going to keep getting the same results 🙌🏻